I don’t know how all of a sudden everything blew up and got massively busy. I will blame it on moving.
Once again we are casting ourselves out into the world and taking a leap of faith.
It’s strange but true that you don’t really appreciate something (or in this case somewhere) until you’ve left. For most of my time in NYC I was on edge. The rats and crowds and dirty subway stops drove me insane. Ever fiber of my being wanted to get out. But I was there and begrudgingly learned to deal with being there. Eventually, I got used to it and bit by bit started to find a rhythm.
It took being away from NYC to finally realize that the city had dug her nails into me and that I missed it. It took living somewhere else to realize that I had it so good all along. Of all the things that this year has taught me, it is that I belong in NYC. And it took being somewhere else to come to that realization.
Most days I still have trouble calling NYC home. I think its my inner Canadian shouting wait a second, how can an American city be home?! But the truth is it is home because it’s the place where I feel the most comfortable. Where I know my way around; where I know how to be myself.
If the worst case scenario is that we move home, then it’s really not so bad after-all.
I am grateful.