I have notice that letting your creative side run is very unstable. I mean I guess this isn’t rocket science, it just comes with the territory. Not only does the income fluctuate, the very nature of creativity can fluctuate. March has been taken up by a lot of “life” things and so I haven’t created as much as I would like. I also haven’t written anything recently. You’d think setting a goal of writing one piece a month is doable for a writer but unsurprisingly I’ve fallen short yet again. The struggle is real.
Even now I am thinking that I should have something interesting to say in this post but I don’t. It’s just me kind of trying to squeeze out toothpaste from a mostly empty tube. When I am inspired, I work in a spurt and a lot of panels get done or a piece of writing comes out with no effort. But, when it’s not there, it’s not there. And the world just kind of hums along and I spend a lot of time willing myself to draw or write and the effort is exhausting. It is finding the right balance between kicking myself for being unproductive and learning to be accept that I have nothing to create at the moment.
I am very thankful for my Quimbee work. It is a weekly deadline and keeps me in line because I have to deliver the work. My own projects have stalled because there isn’t a looming deadline. It’s weird because I have always been very self-driven and self-motivated but I guess it becomes harder to kick your own ass into gear as more and more life things take over. Everyday I try to stick to a rhythm but the effort to do so is much.
Keep on struggling I suppose and keep on trying to forgive myself for being human.