Why does everything take so much time? My partner blames me for not finishing the last 10% of my contracts book and I took issue with that but I suppose he’s right. I will FINALLY finish the last 10% but damn nothing else is happening with anything else either!

I still don’t have my fully signed contract for the Bankruptcy book. I have been trying to follow up with my publisher and he sort of goes MIA for weeks at a time. Amazon is charging me through the nose so I probably need to recall my last batch of books from them and it just feels like everything has ground to a halt. The amount of pushing needed to get a book out is so intense I am exhausted just thinking about the mounds of work ahead. I knew setting a “by the end of the year” deadline was the best I could do for my contracts book all things considered. I am still trying desperately to meet that target. In December I need to re-open my website store. Books are piling up in my home again.

I have been reading the father of stoicism lately – Epictetus’ Enchiridion –  and he advises to let go of the things you cannot control — aka most of the outside world — and work on the things you can control – your own motivation, desire, aversion and judgement. I am trying to do that but it feels so slow. I am constantly disappointed by the lack of progress with everything and I think maybe I need to just forgive myself. It’s not my fault if things don’t progress at the pace I’d like. As long as I keep pushing myself and putting in my best efforts, the rest is really up to the universe.

I am going to hand off my contracts book by Nov 30 and that will be that. I will be done with writing it and I will call it a win.

Still just trying to make some dents in the goddamn marble. Oy vey.

-W.